


Goddamn it Enjolras 4: Dayum

by AdrenalineRevolver



Series: Goddamnit Enjolras [4]
Category: Les Misérables - All Media Types
Genre: Getting Together, Implied/Referenced Bullying, Kissing, M/M, Past Drug Use, Relationship Discussions, They're both so dumb, featuring montparnasse as an illegal canadian, my dumb sons, robespierre is my safeword
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-04
Updated: 2018-11-04
Packaged: 2019-08-17 14:08:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,523
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16517942
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AdrenalineRevolver/pseuds/AdrenalineRevolver
Summary: No more secrets can come out while watching a movie right? Right?





	Goddamn it Enjolras 4: Dayum

Enjolras stared at him wide eyed for a moment before sighing and looking down at his feet. “Grantaire you don’t love me. You love a fake me. You took the me I wanted to be and ran with it. I’m just not that person. I try to be that person, but I’m not and letting you pretend is unhealthy.”

“No I…” Grantaire isn’t sure what to say. Or even how he truly feels. “Just, I know I do this with everything and it’s probably annoying for anyone that’s not dumb enough to be a classics major, but Enjolras I just witnessed whatever the hell the opposite of apotheosis is. Nadir maybe? Whatever. It’s like Apollo got so pissed he threw himself from the sky and became a mortal and the most frightening thing is while I don’t think I know much about the mortal just the act of throwing all that away is enough to make me love him. And it is actually kind of fucking freighting because now he’s not a statue or a painting to love now he’s a person to be in love with, which is way more than I’m cut out for because I’m a fucking disaster. I mean, I know I’m a disaster. Fully aware. To the point of I bet you I can answer that hateful little question you were scared of: it’s no, he wouldn’t be too thrilled to know I drink so much.”

Enjolras winced and Grantaire continued on. “But I can’t really help it you know? Cut back alcohol and inevitably I end up with some other addiction. So I guess, you sort of were one? Or fake you? Apollo was. You’d kind of think seeing that smashed to hell would be a bit of a turn off but uh no? Apparently not. Apparently I actually am capable of feeling real live things for another person. I get it if you don’t believe me. I probably wouldn’t. I just. When I said I love you I’m pretty sure I meant you, this you the one with all the damn problems that I keep finding out about, and the silk sheets.”

“You barely know me.” Enjolras tried not to smile at the little dig about the sheets.

“I desperately want to.” There wasn't a hint of uncertainty in Grantaire’s voice.

“I’m…I’m not going to pretend to understand why, I’ve given up on that with you. But I’d like to know you too.” Enjolras fought the temptation to nervously play with his hair.

“Is that…are we agreeing to date?” It feels like unholy hoards of butterflies had been released in Grantaire’s stomach. Christ, he’s twenty-two not twelve.

“I think so. I’ve never been on a date before.” The blonde just shrugged.

“Wait really?” His butterflies all paused at once. 

“Listen, when one half of the school thinks you’re going to show up one day with a weapon and the other half think you’ve got something incestuous going on with your twin it’s not like dates are going to climb out of the woodwork.” Enjolras’ previous nervousness and trepidation were gone as he’s immediately annoyed at his former classmates.

Grantaire could’t help but burst into laughter. “Oh god. Please tell me you’re joking.”

“No! Just because I was willing to argue with the teacher when they were wrong and didn’t cower from a fight they got scared.” It really did sound like Enjolras couldn't fathom why the other students would be so intimidated by him. 

“And the other thing?” He raised an eyebrow. 

“My sister and I are Acadians who were eventually ‘adopted’ by a Frenchman. If Cosette doesn’t kiss me each time she sees me she’ll combust. Apparently teenagers are stupid.” He greeted her the same way if she does it first but with Cosette it was just about a compulsion. 

“Acadia, like the ones that were pushed into Louisiana?”

“No like the thirty thousand still living in the tip of Maine. Have you ever dug a potato out of the ground in Maine?” Memories of farm work he was basically rented out for threatened to hit him like a war flashback. If he ever saw another spading fork he was going to impale himself with it. 

“No wonder you have problems.”

“The cold makes you crazy. Then we lived in Quebec until the second half of high school. Then we moved to New York where apparently neither our accents or our culture made sense.”

“Does that mean Montparnasse is Québécois? Why the fake accent?” Had that little shit stalked them across the border? Damn.

Enjolras looked completely put out but not with Grantaire. “He spends an hour in the morning on his hair because someone once called it ratty. Do you really think he wouldn’t go out of his way to sound Parisian? I write a paper on his internalized issues.”

“Much rather read one on yours.” He teased

Enjolras laughed and continued to bring Grantaire up to now. “Well, once we moved back to the United States for legal reasons Cosette and I both started applying for schools. Wound up here. I missed the language, so I started poking around and found franciphone language club. Which is where I promptly stole almost all of my friends but you from.”

“Yeah that was a little weird finding out that everyone in the inner circle of the Amis is French.”

“Combeferre and Jehan are French. Everyone else speaks a variation-“

“Yes yes, must be specific, don’t want to leave anyone out or insult anyone.” Grantaire waves his hand in a lofty manner.

“You mentioned your family was from Corsica, yes?” An innocent enough question though Grantaire suspected it was leading to something.

“Yeah?”

“No wonder you’re such a strain on my patience. Tell me do all tyrants come from there or is it just you and Bonaparte?” He grinned wildly. 

“You wound me! I’m dying!” Grantaire stumbles over to the couch and pretends to slump down onto it. “Ah, if only I cared about centuries old dead men.”

“No they have to be at least a millennium in the ground to get you hot. Though I’m sure anyone as into statues as you are has a bit of a necrophile in them so no worries.” Enjolras didn’t even bother to look up from his phone.

Grantaire’s head popped over the side back of the couch with a look of comical surprise. Fury and all other grades of humanity were much more easy to process than a sex joke. 

Enjolras’ grin slowly became something sinister. “No one will believe you.”

“You really are a monster.” Holy shit he was right. Enjolras could say damn well any raunchy thing he wanted to and the only person who had any chance of believing Grantaire was maybe the little shit who tried to stick a maybe fake knife in him. 

Enjolras couldn’t help but laugh.

“Oh gods what torture have I signed on for?” It was half an actual question and half an over-dramatic plea.

“It depends, got distracted and never decided what we should do.” Enjolras looked around the room like it might have an answer for him.

“Would you want to watch a movie or something? Here of course.” He didn’t want to push him too far.

“Sure, I only have Bambi when it comes to physical-“ He didn’t seem surprised when Grantaire interrupted him in horror.

_“Why?”_

“I did a paper on it trust me, it wasn’t my choice. It was about how Bambi is secretly about-“ Enjolras cut himself off. “What if I make Combeferre teach me how to connect my laptop to the TV over the phone and not lecture?”

“Up to you.” Grantaire is just happy that he sounded comfortable. 

They ended up watching a few movies and periodically texting the others. Eventually Enjolras gasped.

“Monty has agreed to be my spy.” 

“And the catch?” Grantaire noticed that he didn’t seem to hesitate with the nickname anymore; he couldn’t tell if that was good or bad. 

“I let him crash here starting Monday. He says it’ll be until he finds an apartment but the chances of him actually finding somewhere to live that isn’t a rat hole before he just moves in with Jehan are nil so his rent will be this bit of spying and then moving from carrier criminal to at least mild kleptomaniac.” Enjolras knew they’ll inevitably get into a few arguments but if it’s worth it it’s worth it.

“So asshole rehab in exchange for a home?”

“Pretty much.” Who knows, it might even end up being fun again. Enjolras pushed that aside as to not get ahead of himself.

“What about not being good for each other?” He hated bringing it up but it probably had to be.

“The very fact that he’s asking means that he’s currently probably on the cusp of homelessness and Jehan’s probably found him out. We can figure it out. I mean, you and I are figuring this out, right?”

“Yeah, but keep in mind if he winds up stabbing you and you set the place on fire Cosette will be pissed. There’s no amount of begging your ghosts can do to keep her from strangling me.” Enjolras seemed legitimately excited about the idea of helping this prick, it had better not backfire for him.

“Oh so it’s your hide you’re worried for. I see.” The blonde just smiled and sent a text before setting his phone aside. 

“Hey now, I’m always worried about you. Let me worry about my impending doom for once.” 

“Do you really? Always worry about me?” Enjolras actually sounded surprised, if not a little upset. 

Was he really so oblivious to how much Grantaire cared? Then again Grantaire did his best to hide it under a sea of alcohol and bad decisions.

“Well yeah of course. You push yourself too hard. You refuse to back down from any threat. You take truly terrible care of yourself for someone that doesn’t drink. You don’t care how powerful your enemies are. It’s safe to say I worry about you all the time. Someone needs to since you’re busy worrying about everyone else in the universe. And I swear that’s not pedestal stuff.” He laughed and sat up properly so that he could turn to Enjolras and properly make his point. It didn’t even really register how close on the couch they were. “Enjolras once I saw you pick up a gross ass worm off the sidewalk and put it back in the dirt. Who notices that? Who cares enough about a worm to pick it up when they’re already going to be late to class?”

“They get crushed or burnt if you leave them on the sidewalk. Which isn’t fair because they were just trying to avoid drowning. They aren’t that gross either.“

“Enjolras, you worry more for worms than yourself.” It was a bit like trying to shove a simple fact into a brick wall.

“I’m stronger than a worm.” 

Something clicked in Grantaire’s brain. “You can’t support everyone’s pain, especially not when you don’t let them support yours.”

Enjolras opened his mouth and then closed it. He then looked away petulantly. “What are you Combeferre now? Going to remind me to take my vitamins?” He wanted to cringe at his own statement but it was all that he could possibly come up with. 

“That…” Grantaire doubled over in laughter and ended up leaning on Enjolras. “Jesus Christ, what are you five?”

Enjolras was absolutely crimson both from the insult and the proximity. “Y-you’re the one who can’t decide if he wants to compliment me or make fun of me!”

“Both. Absolutely both. It’s what you deserve.” Grantaire kissed his temple without thinking. And it really truly was without thinking; it was just he’s usually only this close and this playful with people like Gavroche, Eponine, or his sister. People with who the kiss would be a simple gesture. He wants to fling himself out the window then Enjolras freezes.

“Grantaire?” Enjolras says after a moment.

“Y-Yeah?”

“I think I have one more thing I need to tell you.” He sounded painfully nervous.

“What is it?” Grantaire can’t help but feel fear creep in. What the hell could he still have hidden?

“I want to kiss you.” Enjolras couldn’t force himself to make eye contact when he said it so he just sort looked at Grantaire’s chest. 

Grantaire meanwhile stared at him in shock.

“Whenever we would get into knock down drag outs in the Musain I would get so close to just grabbing you and…I wanted to shut you up that way, other ways too but at least with my lips first. It was weird; I didn’t feel that way when I argued with the others. Maybe they didn’t grin at me the way you did? Or mouth at their stupid drinks like it was something else entirely. It wasn’t like I was a stranger to the whole idea of lust but directed at someone who I kind of wanted to murder with my bare hands? It was new. But because of everything that happened before I just, pushed it all away. I was terrified of twisting up anger and sex because the idea of hurting someone I cared was just too much.” He couldn’t help but become preoccupied with the possible worst-case scenarios.

“Well there are safewords for things like that. Just turn it off when I yell Robespierre and it’s all good.” Curse his stupid brain. Fucking hell. Couldn’t he just say something a little comforting rather than probably gross him out?

Enjolras rather than looking disgusted just bit his lip Grantaire thinks he’s going to actually drop dead. “I’ll keep that in mind, but can we start with just a kiss?”

“Y-Yep! All good. A kiss would be wonderful. Only you’ll need to kiss me because I don’t remember how to move or breathe.” If the room caught on fire Grantaire would probably just burn to death sitting there.

Enjolras carefully put his hand on Grantaire’s cheek and ran his thumb across the stubble there. His eyes fluttered shut as he slowly leaned in and Grantaire realized with a dizzy bit of delight that Enjolras was treating him as if he’s made of spun glass. Something delicate. Something precious. It’s almost as far from a kiss that would result from an argument could be. There’s no clashing of teeth, no biting, no hair pulling; just something soft and slow, something that’s almost too much in the other direction. 

By the time Enjolras pulled back with a flustered smile Grantaire is almost convinced that he actually did drop dead because holy shit.

“Wow.” Enjolras whispered and its obvious he wasn’t expecting a kiss to leave him so windswept either. 

“Yeah same.” Grantaire managed lamely. Same, really? Wow he sucked.

“I’m definitely going to keep what you said before about safewords in mind though.” Enjolras grinned and lazed across Grantaire’s lap to watch the next movie as if he didn’t just make it impossible for Grantaire to focus on anything ever again. 

Goddamn it Enjolras.

**Author's Note:**

> Now that the bois are together this series will likely take a little nap, however I'll probably come back to it at some point and play more in this universe. There's still the ins and outs of the boys relationship to play with, Cosette and Marius, Montparnasse being a disaster of a human being, and the other two members of the trio finding out that Enjolras is actually finally dating Grantaire.
> 
> Also if my grammar is bad feel free to slip me a note because while english is my first language sometimes stuff sure doesn't read like it.


End file.
